July 5, 2016
Worship: A Million Raindrops by Bebo Norman
Can I feel the sun?
Breaking through the gray I'm lost within
Can I hear the wind?
Like a secret telling me I'll live again
I need you
All your thoughts, let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground, I'm standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father's kiss
That all my life I've waited on
Can I walk the line?
Tell me, will you be my safety net?
Can you save a life?
Tangled up in weakness and regret
I know you can
All your thoughts, let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground, I'm standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father's kiss
That all my life I've waited on
That all my life I've waited on
I'm crying out to you
I'm crying out to you, yeah
There's nothing left to lose
There's nothing left to prove, yeah
I'm crying out to you
I'm crying out to you
All your thoughts, let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground, I'm standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father's kiss
That all my life I've waited on
All your thoughts, let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground, I'm standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father's kiss
That all my life I've waited on
That all my life I've waited on
https://youtu.be/C8_WzoNFwgA
Witness:
My life is in upheaval again. I did something very careless and stupid the other night after church. To give some context let me back up a little so I can share the bigger picture. During my morning prayer time, before I went to bed, I asked the Lord to deliver me from debt. I have felt the weight of debt for a long time and wondered if it would ever be lifted. Various health and job situations plunged me into much of the debt. Yes, I confess that I can’t seem to make a good budget that I can stick too. Something unexpected always comes up and those miscellaneous expenses sap the budget as well. I do not want to dwell on this aspect since what I want to share is not about good budgeting.
So back to the context concerning my present upheaval. I prayed for deliverance from debt and also that I would be able to talk to and pray with someone after the 6:30 pm service. I have joined our Next Steps Team which some churches call counselors for those who make professions of faith. Our responsibilities go beyond that to praying for any need or directing inquirers to various ministries the church offers or information about joining our Host Team or Next Steps team etc.
When the invitation was given 7 hands were raised. When the door opened I looked for some of those had prayed to receive Christ (our church does a community prayer – we pray the prayer to receive Christ along with those who raised their hands – I will not digress to tell you my real feelings about this practice). No one came through my door. I spoke to no one except to smile and greet them aa they left the sanctuary. When people stopped coming out I began to walk to the center of our huge “fellowship area”. I saw both of my fellow members of Next Steps ministering to people. I was happy for them but crushed that my prayer was not answered as I hoped.
So, I struggled with this as I gathered the grandkids from their various fellowships. I was preoccupied with prayers to God asking why I was not given anyone to minister to. Was I unusable by God after all? Were there hindrances in my life I had not recognized or confessed? I tried to quell such thoughts and rely on the sovereignty of God I professed to believe in. We got into the car and preceded home. Going down a long stretch of road I was looking at the storm clouds on the horizon. I remarked to the kids that one looked like a man with a beard pointing a finger. What happened next is unclear to me now. I suddenly became aware I was at the intersection and the light was red and I would not be able to stop, so I barreled through hoping no one would hit me. That’s when a car hit me in the rear and I spun to the other side and crashed into the high curb. In an instant, the car was totaled and I received a $200 ticket. A tow fee will surely follow. My insurance will surely go up and if it doesn’t pay the tow fee and the emergency room copay ($250) I went to later that night because of chest pains I will be out more money. The good news is that my grandkids and the driver of the other car were not hurt and I have a second car to drive.
This brings me to the upheaval I am wrestling with right now. I am wrestling with “unanswered prayers”. I am not only wondering why I wasn’t allowed to minister to anyone that night but also why I was also now deeper in debt (add to this the $670 I charged the week before to replace the radiator for the car I am driving now). I am struggling with guilt over the possibility that I could have killed or seriously injured the grandkids. I am struggling with flashbacks to the accident. I am struggling again with feelings of being alone and sadness and anger over the fact that my wife is not here to support and comfort me. I feel out of sorts spiritually as well and have put off my quiet time and preoccupied myself with watching the news and organizing the piles of mail that had accumulated on the kitchen counter. I finally forced myself to pray and then sit down to write what I am writing at this present time.
What is the Lord teaching me through all this? That He is sovereign, wise, faithful, trustworthy and good. He protected our lives and He can provide for these financial setbacks. What appears as dark and bleak is only the backdrop upon which God will paint His beautiful blessings upon my life. That He is calling me to trust Him in spite of my present circumstance.
Saturday, one day before my “accident”, I had spoken up in response to the question “how do we respond to someone who asks the question, “How can we say God is good with so much trouble even in the world?” I said that I have learned in my suffering not to ask God why but how? Not why am I suffering but how can I make it through my suffering. I referenced James 1:5 which is in the context of suffering:
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. NIV
Not wisdom to know why but wisdom to walk through suffering allowing it to complete its maturing work in my life. I had also written a text to my friend who is going through tough times. It consisted of a verse from another fellow sufferer named Job, a verse from a hymn, and a short poem I wrote. It read:
Though he slay me,
yet will I hope in him
Job 13:15 NIV
Every joy or trial
Falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial
By the Sun of Love.
We may trust Him fully
All for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly
Find Him wholly true.
Frances Ridley Havergal: 1836-1879
God is still on His throne
When trials come my way
And His reasons oft' unknown
He's still my hope and stay!
These words came back to me following all this. My friend texted them back to me.
I was reminded of one more thing today as I was typing. It is the words I wrote in my previous journal entry:
I’m sure he was concerned about what others were thinking about him in the present situation he was in whatever it was, but he also recognized that sin in his life was part of the cause. He was also concerned that God’s goodness would be called into question – “If your God is so good why are you suffering so?”. He also wanted to be found faithful in hope and not be put to shame (vs 2-3). He wanted God’s guidance in his life as well as His tender mercy and steadfast love (vs 4-7).
In my suffering is this my attitude or am I more concerned with just feeling better? Is my faith a desire to just feel good or is it to exalt my God and find my happiness and satisfaction solely in Him?
As writing this last part a song came on which put my hearts cry into words. I stopped and praised God for one of those “millions raindrops” He was pouring out on the “desolate ground I'm standing on”. It truly was a “father’s kiss” from my heavenly Father. Here is the song and with its words, I will end this portion of my journal entry.
Instead of fear
Instead of blinded eyes
Instead of shame
Instead of all my lies
Instead of an orphan without a name
I hope you see Jesus
Instead of anger
Instead of unbelief
Instead of weakness
In the heart of me
Instead of a wounded soul
I hope you see Jesus
Chorus
I hope you see Jesus
Standing in my place
Bearing all my shame
I hope you see Jesus
Instead of voices
In a faceless crowd
Instead of prophets crying out
From behind a shroud
Instead of fingers pointing out the blame
I hope you see Jesus
Chorus
I hope you see love
I hope you see love
I hope you see love
Oh, my God when you look at us
A broken people who have turned from love
Instead of words we throw
And the wars we wage
I hope You forgive us
I hope you see Jesus
Chorus
Standing in our place
Bearing all our shame
I hope you see Jesus
Read more athttp://www.songlyrics.com/bebo-norman/i-hope-you-see-jesus-lyrics/#Vhzd1HWZiSQvx6b1.99
Video: https://youtu.be/GBIpvoNVlDk?list=RDMMr6nHLg1Y7-M
WORD:
Ps 25:8-15
8 Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O Lord,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The Lord confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
NIV
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Ps 25:8-15
8 The Lord is good and does what is right;
he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
9 He leads the humble in doing right,
teaching them his way.
10 The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.
11 For the honor of your name, O Lord,
forgive my many, many sins.
12 Who are those who fear the Lord?
He will show them the path they should choose.
13 They will live in prosperity,
and their children will inherit the land.
14 The Lord is a friend to those who fear him.
He teaches them his covenant.
15 My eyes are always on the Lord,
for he rescues me from the traps of my enemies.
Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.
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Ps 25:8-15
8 Good and upright is the Lord: therefore will he teach sinners in the way.
9 The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
11 For thy name's sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great.
12 What man is he that feareth the Lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose.
13 His soul shall dwell at ease, and his seed shall inherit the earth.
14 The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.
15 Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net.
KJV
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Ps 25:8-15
8 Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
9 He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
11 For your name's sake, O Lord,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.
12 Who is the man who fears the Lord?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
13 His soul shall abide in well-being,
and his offspring shall inherit the land.
14 The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him,
and he makes known to them his covenant.
15 My eyes are ever toward the Lord,
for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
ESV
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I will begin to delve more deeply into these verses. Right now, I want to point out that the preceding thoughts are a perfect segue into this portion of Scripture!
“Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.”
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INDEED
HE
DOES!
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