It's been a while but I'm back. This journal entry took more than a week to complete as you can see.
May 4 -11, 2018
Worship:
Lyrics
How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss -
The Father turns His face away,
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.
Behold the man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life -
I know that it is finished.
I will not boast in anything,
No gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer;
But this I know with all my heart -
His wounds have paid my ransom.
Stuart Townend
Copyright © 1995 Thankyou Music (Adm. by CapitolCMGPublishing.com excl. UK & Europe, adm. by Integrity Music, part of the David C Cook family, songs@integritymusic.com)
Witness:
Yes! How deep IS the Father’s Love to save and transform a man such as I. One who recognizes that he is a “wretch” who’s “sin held Him there” on the cross. Unfathomable are the words:
How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
This song came to mind for some reason as I sat down after almost a month away from my journal. I needed to remind myself of God’s deep love for me.
A lot has happened in the meantime.
A son loses his job.
A daughter discovers that she has skin cancer. She will be going in for surgery on May 10th. They say it is in its earliest stage (0). We will know if this is really so after the surgery.
My mom fell and broke some ribs. Now I have to get up after 4-5 hours of sleep to pick up two of my grandsons because she cannot do that anymore while she is healing. Teachers here walked out for two weeks which prolonged the school year until the 31st of this month. That lengthens the time I will be having to get up early and lose sleep.
All this has made me very weary, and my spirit has dried up from lack of depth in His Word. Yet God pursues me still. Right now Shane and Shane are singing Psalm 23. What timing God! Thank you! Because lately all I have done is listen to messages as I try to sleep. Any study I have done for Band of Brothers has been more academic, and a desire to impress others and not improve my walk or that of others. I feel like I am shriveling up inside. The pain of my wife’s abandonment haunts me. Not overtly, but subtly and persistently in the background.
O Lord, Divine Artist, please paint Your bright and glorious portrait of Yourself on the dark canvas of my life. Amen
As I end this portion and prepare for work the hymn “It is Well” is playing!
Through it all
Through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well
With me
- Kristene Elizabeth Dimarco
WORD:
Ps 27:7-10
7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.
NIV
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Ps 27:7-10
7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.
Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.
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Ps 27:7-10
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me and answer me.
8 When thou sadist, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
KJV
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Ps 27:7-10
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, "Seek my face."
My heart says to you,
"Your face, Lord, do I seek."
9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.
ESV
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We now enter the second half of the Psalm. Here the tone seems to change dramatically from confidence and praise to anxious concern and plaintive pleading. From profession to petition. It is interesting to note the different ways the various translations have divided up this second portion of this psalm. The NIV divides it into two sections – vv. 7-12 and vv. 13-14. The NLT vv. 7-10, vv. 11-13, and v. 14. The ESV vv.7-10, vv. 11-12, v. 13, and v. 14. I prefer the NIV’s divisions, and that is how I outlined this psalm earlier in my studies.
I. Exalt and be exalted Psalm 27:1-6
II. Entreating and Entrusting Psalm 27:7-12
III. Encouraging and Exhorting Psalm 27:13-14
I changed the order of the last point because, upon further reflection, it seemed to follow the flow of the last two verses better than the way I initially had it.
Never-the-less, I have chosen to section off vv. 7-10 for my studies based on subject matter rather than the logical flow of the psalm of profession, petition, and proposition.
Before I dig into this section, let me close this particular journal entry (which actually has taken me several days to complete) with a thought about why David would suddenly go from the heights of exhilarating praise to the valley of anxious prayer. These thoughts came upon me in seed form while I was at work the other day. In my witness section above I mentioned the dryness in my life I was experiencing. One minute I was praising God and the next moment a feeling of depression and weariness overtook me.
As I reflected on this, it came to me (by Divine appointment I believe) that this must have been going on in David’s life as he was writing this psalm. I remarked to myself that anyone who thought this Psalm was of composite origin had not wrestled much in their life with conflicting emotions and thoughts. If David was fleeing for his life when he was writing this psalm that would explain the differences in tone. David is professing his trust in the Lord and his hope in one day worshiping in the tabernacle again. He is moved to the heights of worship. Then reality sets in. A feeling of despair seeks to quash his spirit of praise. So Davis turns to the same One to whom he had been addressing in vv. 1-6 instead of giving up and surrendering to these internal attacks on his mind and heart.
Often the external attacks succeed because of the success of the inward skirmish that takes place in one’s soul. However, David, the man after God’s own heart and presence was not going to let that happen, and he pursued His Savior on his knees to conquer these debilitating fears. And with God’s grace, mercy and strength so will I.
These Inward Trials
These inward trials seek to debilitate
These anxious thoughts, my joy ablate
My weary soul cries out for You, my God
My spirit yearns for Your comforting rod
Lift me up, O Lord, to a higher place
Lift me up into Your secure embrace
I know You are with me in all my trials
I know You protect me from the devil’s wiles
Nothing from Your Love can separate
Nothing in all creation from it, abrogate
Upon this truth, my joy inflates
Upon this reality in all life’s straits
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