Journal for Christ

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Faith Cries Out

May 12 - 17, 2018

Worship: Braver Still by JJ Heller

[Verse 1]

I never saw it coming

There was no way to prepare

The world kept spinning 'round me

And left me standing there

[Pre-Chorus 1]

And it's okay to grieve

A life that could not be

I'm trying to believe

In something better

[Chorus 1]

Even if the dreams I had turned into dust

There's no wreckage that's too broken to rebuild

The world is just as scary as I thought it was

But Your love makes me braver still

Your love makes me braver

[Verse 2]

I spent my whole life running

Trying to find a place to rest

Why did it take a wound like this

To let You hold me to Your chest?

[Pre-Chorus 2]

Now I can hear You breathe

You're singing over me

You're making me believe

In something better

[Chorus 1]

Even if the dreams I had turned into dust

There's no wreckage that's too broken to rebuild

The world is just as scary as I thought it was

But Your love makes me braver still

Your love makes me braver...

[Bridge]

There is a valley

Where shadows are covering everything I hold dear

There in the darkness

I hear You whispering "I am here."

[Chorus 2]

Even if the dreams I had turned into dust

There's no wreckage that's too broken to rebuild

The world is just as scary as I thought it was

But Your love makes me braver still

Your love makes me braver still

Your love makes me braver

Lyrics: https://genius.com/Jj-heller-braver-still-lyrics

Video: https://youtu.be/blULd_EMdC0

Witness:

I was sitting at my desk eating and reading and deleting my e-mails when this song came on. As in the past, God has a way of getting my attention. Perhaps my unconscious self is attuned to hearing lyrics that are in tune with what I am going through at any given time. A song can be playing, and the words pass by my conscious self without really hearing them. Yet in the midst of a song my ears and my mind will latch on to something being sung. That is what happened tonight when this song started to play. Suddenly these particular lyrics flashed into my consciousness –

Why did it take a wound like this

To let You hold me to Your chest?

That was a searching and saddening question to me. I immediately Identified with it. So I looked up the lyrics, and the first verse catapulted me back to a time 3 years ago when my little world came crashing down on me. To a time when my wife took off in the middle of the night leaving behind broken hearts, broken dreams, and broken promises.

I never saw it coming

There was no way to prepare

The world kept spinning 'round me

And left me standing there

No, I never saw it coming. Yes, there had been inklings of the possibility, but I had closed my mind to such a prospect happening. Instead, I chose to believe that over time and the changes I was making, that things would be alright. And when that day came, the world did spin around and left me standing dumbfounded and hurting.

And I did grieve and grieve even to this day –

And it's okay to grieve

A life that could not be

I'm trying to believe

In something better

I know well the valley of deep darkness –

There is a valley

Where shadows are covering everything I hold dear

There in the darkness

I hear You whispering "I am here."

But in all this, I have this hope –

Even if the dreams I had turned into dust

There's no wreckage that's too broken to rebuild

The world is just as scary as I thought it was

But Your love makes me braver still

Your love makes me braver still

Your love makes me braver

And as my Savior and Shepherd holds me dearly to His chest –

Now I can hear You breathe

You're singing over me

You're making me believe

In something better

Ps 62:5-6

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

NIV

Ps 31:24

Be strong and take heart,

all you who hope in the Lord.

NIV

Josh 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

NIV

2 Cor 4:17

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

KJV

WORD:

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;

be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"

Your face, Lord, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me,

do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me,

O God my Savior.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,

the Lord will receive me.

NIV

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.

Be merciful and answer me!

8 My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."

And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."

9 Do not turn your back on me.

Do not reject your servant in anger.

You have always been my helper.

Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,

O God of my salvation!

10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,

the Lord will hold me close.

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me and answer me.

8 When thou sadist, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

KJV

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;

be gracious to me and answer me!

8 You have said, "Seek my face."

My heart says to you,

"Your face, Lord, do I seek."

9 Hide not your face from me.

Turn not your servant away in anger,

O you who have been my help.

Cast me not off; forsake me not,

O God of my salvation!

10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,

but the Lord will take me in.

ESV

The first six verses are a fitting foundation for the plea that follows. For these great declarations (vv 1-3) and this glorious desire (vv 4-6) bring David comfort, confidence, and commitment even in the anxious petitions that follow in verses 7-10. Furthermore, David not only relies on the God who is great and glorious but also on the God who is gracious (v 7) and grants us access into His royal presence (v8).

The desire that is born in his heart (v 8) issues forth in verbal prayer. Often in our private encounters with God we pray internally, but who has not when in times of anxiety or deep despair cried out in a loud voice for help to the Lord. Much of my praying in private is verbalized. I find it more intimate, and it keeps me more focused. It also reveals to me when my thoughts are confused and need refocusing.

Spurgeon says,

Psalms 27:7

The voice may be profitably used even in private prayer; for though it is unnecessary, it is often helpful, and aids in preventing distractions.

It is human to cry out. Do we not have an example of such action even in the only perfect human that ever lived (and still lives)?

Matt 27:46

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"-which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

NIV

Therefore, it is not a shame to cry out when we are in distress. Our faith is not a sham when we do this. It is faith calling out to the Faithful one. It is hope seeking help from the Helper. It’s the sheep bleating for its Shepherd. It is the child of God crying out to their Father when they are afraid.

Lord, when I am in deep despair

I call to You for Your tender care

When life to me makes no sense

And trials and fears grow intense

I cry out to You my hope and stay

For strength to cope amidst the fray

And You my God come to my aid

When I am lost and so afraid

You bind me closely to Your side

You are my shelter in which I hide

I see the dawn of grace appear

And faith rises up and conquers fear!

Friday, May 11, 2018

These Inward Trials

It's been a while but I'm back. This journal entry took more than a week to complete as you can see.

May 4 -11, 2018

Worship:

Lyrics

How deep the Father’s love for us,

How vast beyond all measure,

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss -

The Father turns His face away,

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders;

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished;

His dying breath has brought me life -

I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything,

No gifts, no power, no wisdom;

But I will boast in Jesus Christ,

His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer;

But this I know with all my heart -

His wounds have paid my ransom.

Stuart Townend

Lyrics: https://www.stuarttownend.co.uk/song/how-deep-the-fathers-love-for-us/

Video: https://youtu.be/r3Hsyuu2_j0

Witness:

Yes! How deep IS the Father’s Love to save and transform a man such as I. One who recognizes that he is a “wretch” who’s “sin held Him there” on the cross. Unfathomable are the words:

How deep the Father’s love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure.

This song came to mind for some reason as I sat down after almost a month away from my journal. I needed to remind myself of God’s deep love for me.

A lot has happened in the meantime.

A son loses his job.

A daughter discovers that she has skin cancer. She will be going in for surgery on May 10^th. They say it is in its earliest stage (0). We will know if this is really so after the surgery.

My mom fell and broke some ribs. Now I have to get up after 4-5 hours of sleep to pick up two of my grandsons because she cannot do that anymore while she is healing. Teachers here walked out for two weeks which prolonged the school year until the 31^st of this month. That lengthens the time I will be having to get up early and lose sleep.

All this has made me very weary, and my spirit has dried up from lack of depth in His Word. Yet God pursues me still. Right now Shane and Shane are singing Psalm 23. What timing God! Thank you! Because lately all I have done is listen to messages as I try to sleep. Any study I have done for Band of Brothers has been more academic, and a desire to impress others and not improve my walk or that of others. I feel like I am shriveling up inside. The pain of my wife’s abandonment haunts me. Not overtly, but subtly and persistently in the background.

O Lord, Divine Artist, please paint Your bright and glorious portrait of Yourself on the dark canvas of my life. Amen

As I end this portion and prepare for work the hymn “It is Well” is playing!

Through it all

My eyes are on You

And it is well

With me

- Kristene Elizabeth Dimarco

WORD:

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;

be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"

Your face, Lord, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me,

do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me,

O God my Savior.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,

the Lord will receive me.

NIV

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.

Be merciful and answer me!

8 My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."

And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."

9 Do not turn your back on me.

Do not reject your servant in anger.

You have always been my helper.

Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,

O God of my salvation!

10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,

the Lord will hold me close.

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me and answer me.

8 When thou sadist, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

KJV

Ps 27:7-10

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;

be gracious to me and answer me!

8 You have said, "Seek my face."

My heart says to you,

"Your face, Lord, do I seek."

9 Hide not your face from me.

Turn not your servant away in anger,

O you who have been my help.

Cast me not off; forsake me not,

O God of my salvation!

10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,

but the Lord will take me in.

ESV

We now enter the second half of the Psalm. Here the tone seems to change dramatically from confidence and praise to anxious concern and plaintive pleading. From profession to petition. It is interesting to note the different ways the various translations have divided up this second portion of this psalm. The NIV divides it into two sections – vv. 7-12 and vv. 13-14. The NLT vv. 7-10, vv. 11-13, and v. 14. The ESV vv.7-10, vv. 11-12, v. 13, and v. 14. I prefer the NIV’s divisions, and that is how I outlined this psalm earlier in my studies.

I. Exalt and be exalted Psalm 27:1-6

II. Entreating and Entrusting Psalm 27:7-12

III. Encouraging and Exhorting Psalm 27:13-14

I changed the order of the last point because, upon further reflection, it seemed to follow the flow of the last two verses better than the way I initially had it.

Never-the-less, I have chosen to section off vv. 7-10 for my studies based on subject matter rather than the logical flow of the psalm of profession, petition, and proposition.

Before I dig into this section, let me close this particular journal entry (which actually has taken me several days to complete) with a thought about why David would suddenly go from the heights of exhilarating praise to the valley of anxious prayer. These thoughts came upon me in seed form while I was at work the other day. In my witness section above I mentioned the dryness in my life I was experiencing. One minute I was praising God and the next moment a feeling of depression and weariness overtook me.

As I reflected on this, it came to me (by Divine appointment I believe) that this must have been going on in David’s life as he was writing this psalm. I remarked to myself that anyone who thought this Psalm was of composite origin had not wrestled much in their life with conflicting emotions and thoughts. If David was fleeing for his life when he was writing this psalm that would explain the differences in tone. David is professing his trust in the Lord and his hope in one day worshiping in the tabernacle again. He is moved to the heights of worship. Then reality sets in. A feeling of despair seeks to quash his spirit of praise. So Davis turns to the same One to whom he had been addressing in vv. 1-6 instead of giving up and surrendering to these internal attacks on his mind and heart.

Often the external attacks succeed because of the success of the inward skirmish that takes place in one’s soul. However, David, the man after God’s own heart and presence was not going to let that happen, and he pursued His Savior on his knees to conquer these debilitating fears. And with God’s grace, mercy and strength so will I.

These Inward Trials

These inward trials seek to debilitate

These anxious thoughts, my joy ablate

My weary soul cries out for You, my God

My spirit yearns for Your comforting rod

Lift me up, O Lord, to a higher place

Lift me up into Your secure embrace

I know You are with me in all my trials

I know You protect me from the devil’s wiles

Nothing from Your Love can separate

Nothing in all creation from it, abrogate

Upon this truth, my joy inflates

Upon this reality in all life’s straits

Sunday, March 11, 2018

The terminus ad quem of all spiritual activity

March 11, 2018

Worship: Sovereign Over Us by Aaron Keyes and sung by Shane & Shane

There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You're sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You're teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless grace
You're the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround, and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You're working for our good
You're working for our good and for Your glory

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

You're faithful forever
Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us Songwriters: Aaron Keyes / Bryan Brown / Jack Mooring

Lyrics: https://genius.com/Shane-and-shane-sovereign-over-us-lyrics

Video: https://youtu.be/Dl9a7sE4bcM?list=RDDl9a7sE4bcM

Witness:

This song is so filled with the truth of Scripture and the essence of who our God is. It shows where theology intersects with life, especially in suffering. It is theocentric in an anthropocentric age, and yet that centricity does not exclude us. It is a glorious

THOU-i confessional song.

God…

You meet us

You love us

You sanctify us

You teach us

You are working for our good

You are working for Your glory

God, You are…

Wisdom unimaginable

Reigning high above

Compassionate and Kind

Faithful forever

Perfect in Love

Sovereign over us

WORD:

Ps 27:4-6

4 One thing I ask of the Lord,

this is what I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble

he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted

above the enemies who surround me;

at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make music to the Lord.

NIV (84)

Ps 27:4-6

4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—

the thing I seek most—

is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

delighting in the Lord’s perfections

and meditating in his Temple.

5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;

he will hide me in his sanctuary.

He will place me out of reach on a high rock.

6 Then I will hold my head high

above my enemies who surround me.

At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,

singing and praising the Lord with music.

Ps 27:4-6

4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.

5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.

KJV

Ps 27:4-6

4 One thing have I asked of the Lord,

that will I seek after:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to inquire in his temple.

5 For he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock.

6 And now my head shall be lifted up

above my enemies all around me,

and I will offer in his tent

sacrifices with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

ESV

1. Presence – David earnestly desired to personally experience God’s presence – v. 4

2. Protection – Which led to experiencing God’s protection – vs. 5

3. Promotion – And experiencing exaltation – v. 6

4. Praise – And culminating in God’s praise – v. 6

Here we have arrived at the terminus ad quem* of all spiritual activity (see 1 Cor. 10:31) – Worship. In God’s presence, he found beauty and blessing. He found protection and promotion. Specifically, he expected to be exalted (“my head shall be lifted up”) over the enemies that were surrounding him (see also vs. 2-3). But all these things must culminate in the glory of God expressed in praise and worship from a heart full of joy. Godly joy – our purist and highest joy – comes from a heart totally satisfied in God and Him alone. It cannot help but issue forth in praise of the object of its praise. If all we do and seek does not end in praise of God, then our joy is mere self-seeking and self-serving folly. If our joy is not planted in the soil of divine satisfaction, then it will bear no fruit and die on the vine. The sad thing is that we may not realize that it has died or if we do we will continue to seek out lesser things to bring us the joy we seek. Like John Piper says quoting C.S. Lewis:

… our problem as human beings is not that our desires are too strong, but that our desires are too weak. I thought my desires were the problem. Lewis says, No, your desires aren’t the problem. The weakness of your desires are the problem. You are like a child fooling about in slums with your mud pies because you can’t imagine what a holiday at the sea is like. In other words, your desires for the great things that God is offering you are way too small. Your problem is not big desires, but small desires for big things.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-is-christian-hedonism

Oh Lord transform my small desires into one great desire to be in Your presence and protection, and in joy worship You all the days of my life and on into eternity.

*noun, Latin.

1. the end to which; aim; goal; final or latest limiting point. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/terminus

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Faith Cries Out

Friday, May 11, 2018

These Inward Trials

Sunday, March 11, 2018

The terminus ad quem of all spiritual activity

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